I'm becoming and insomniac

Last night was a tough night. Brayden has been sleeping so much better lately. I love it! But last night was kind of an exception.

I am done nursing now and that did help with the sleeping at night, a lot! Normally Brayden will go to bed between 7 and 8pm and wakes up around midnight. I will pick him up and comfort him, normally by walking around or rocking him until he starts to dose off again. When I put him back down, sometimes he cries for a couple minutes, sometimes not at all. Wonderful.

Then he will often wake up again between 4 and 5am and at this time I will give him a bottle and put him back down and he'll sleep until 8am or so.

The few nights past, he has gone to bed at his usual time and when he wakes up the first time, it's a little later, like 2 or 3am and it's just because he's been sleeping on his stomach, which normally he does not, and he isn't great at getting back over, he can but it takes more effort for him than rolling to his stomach, so he needs to be flipped over. Or he has gas, so I pick him up, he burps, I lie him back down and he falls asleep right away again. Then he sleeps until about 7am.

Last night, he went to bed at 7:30, when I checked on him at 8, he was on his tummy and he smelled so I had to wake him up to change his bum. He cried for about 2 minutes and went back to sleep. He didn't wake up until 4:15am and even though it had been 9 hours since he had his bottle, I thought I'd try to just comfort him and put him back down without it since it was the first time he'd woken up.

It didn't go so well.

I put him back down and he cried, a lot. I usually give him about half an hour of crying and then I go get him because that means he's really not going back to sleep. Well, he quit crying before the half hour, was quiet for awhile, then he started crying again. This was around 5am. I decided to go give him a bottle now, it had been a long time since he'd eaten and I was so tired, yet unable to sleep as he lay there crying. Plus Jason was actually awoken by this crying and he had a test in the morning.

I gave him the bottle and he slept until 9am. Good for him, not for me. I am sure I am becoming an insomniac. I used to be able to go back to sleep after I got up with the kids but lately I will lay there for hours unable to sleep.

The worst part is, since Brayden started sleeping better, Ashton has started getting up more for random reasons. I've never had a problem with Ashton sleeping through the night, not since he was 8 months old! I don't know what is going on now.

I'll be in a dead sleep and I hear "mommy, mommy, mommy". I fly out of bed and run to his room, very quietly of course, because I do not want him to wake up Brayden. But with the jump out of bed, my heart is racing, I'm sure its adrenaline or something and that is likely why I can't get back to sleep.

I don't mind him getting up to pee, we even tried putting a little push button night light in the bathroom so he'd go on his own, but then he was calling me to come and see the light at night. Kind of defeating the purpose.

Lately its been that he wants to come sleep in my bed. I have never let my kids sleep with us. Maybe when Ashton was a little baby and wouldn't go to sleep and I was desparate to get some rest but not since, and Brayden has never come to bed with us. I tell him no when he asks but then he starts to whin, therefore, waking Brayden up, Ashton falls back to sleep before I can finish explaining why he can't sleep with us, but I'm left then with another kid awake.

Last night before bed, I tried to tell Ashton that he was not allowed to come sleep with us in the middle of the night. I told him there just isn't room. I told him it is ok if he wants to come sleep with me after dad goes to school but not before. He said he understood and then he told me that he would instead call me in the middle of the night to ask me if daddy was still in bed. Imagine my frustration, after the laughter of course. Sometimes there is just no explaining things to kids!
 

why I am not having anymore children

- I am finally past the VERY difficult "baby" phase, Brayden is becoming more interacive and so much fun

- I don't want to deal with the terrible 2's, 3's etc more than one more time

- I already have 2 boys and a husband and am afraid I will not be able to keep them all fed when they are teenagers

- I am making room in my basement by giving away all the clothes that Brayden has outgrown to my sister-in-law for her upcoming son

- I am so excited for next summer when Brayden is able to do more and I am not sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else having fun while I am keeping the baby happy

- my 2 boys will be best friends

- pregnancy, enough said

- labour, again, need I say more?

- when I lose my weight this time, it will be for good. I am getting older and it's going to start to get harder each time

- I want to take my kids to Disney World but not until they are old enough to actually remember something, no more kids means a shorter wait time :)

- the possibility of a 3rd boy!  Oh my!

- I'd have to buy a van

- I want my kids to have everything and with how expensive that will be, 2 is enough

- it already takes me long enough to pack when we go somewhere

- 2 more years of diapers is plenty for me

- now that I have the family I want, I'd like to find a job I love going to everyday, I hear they do exist

- the grandparents already buy big noisy toys for 2 kids, what would my house become if I had more kids?

- more sleep, oh sweet sleep!

weight loss challenge?

Here is my random thought of the day.

As previously mentioned, I have been working on getting the rest of the baby weight off and I haven't been trying hard enough. I am really unhappy about what I see when I look in the mirror and when I try to find something to wear. It's even worse this time of year when you are trying to find clothes to go to Christmas parties and gatherings.

I have 6 years of experience coaching others through their weight loss journey, and from that I have come up with a few things that I know are important to success and the number one things is absolutely accountability!

With that being said, I'm trying to think of a way to make myself accountable. Accountable to someone other than Jason, because as much as a husband wants to help, sometimes they are really more of a hinderance than a help. I know there are other people out there that are struggling as well, whether it be from baby weight or just weight in general and maybe there is something we can all do together to be successful. A work out buddy is always great because you won't cancel on someone else the way you would cancel on yourself. My problem is that most of my friends that would be interested in doing the "team thing" live too far away. Plus, I can't just go out with someone to the gym or for a walk or anything like that because of the kids, one car, and the weather!

I know there are a lot of people I know are on facebook several times a day, this gave me an idea. I'm thinking of sending out a message, either privately or as my own status, to see who might be interested in doing something where we can be accountable to each other.

Some of the things I've been thinking about could involve the following things that would be accessable to the people interested in getting involved:
- keeping a food diary
- posting your daily thoughts/emotions
- exercise journal
- challenges and how you overcame them, or didn't in some cases
- amount of weight you want to lose and updates on how you're doing
- mini contests for extra motivation (for those of us that are a little competitive)
- reward system
- ideas and tips for other people in the group

These are just a few of the things I'm thinking about. I'm not sure when I want to start. I was thinking the new year but really, why wait? The longer I do nothing about it, the longer I am unhappy about how I am right now. No amount of weight would be too much or too little. 5 lbs to one person is like 50 to another person.

I don't want this to be like Herbal Magic in the sense that other people are responsible for my success, I just know that for myself, knowing other people are going through what I'm going through helps me handle things, especially because I have a lot of friends out there that are Stay at home moms right now with more than one kid. I also find that sometimes a little competition helps me be successful, not competition saying that I want to kick all your butts, but for example, when I did my run club a few years ago, you met once/week with the class for a run, then the instructor gave us homework, you could do it or not do it, it was up to you, but I ALWAYS did it because I knew that if I didn't, I'd go to class next time and be way behind everyone else, no one likes to be behind everyone else. I had huge success with this.

So I guess what this post is about, is to see if you have any ideas as to how to make this work or if you'd be interested in doing something like this as a group. Looking forward to some feedback

quiet book pictures

Here is the finished product. I just used the most simple patterns since it was my first one. Ashton has shown a lot of interest in it as well so I may make him one too, not for Christmas as that would be silly to add more to my to-do list but maybe in the new year. I also finished it off with a purple ribbon to hold it closed. It was a suggestion and I figured since my book isn't perfectly square, it made it look better. I also decided to put the girls names on the front to make it look more exciting and be more personalized.

practice photo

I didn't have the quiet book pictures on the computer yet, so here is my practice picture. I also do not have many pictures of my littl niece but Nikki has finally posted some so go look there! lol

Pictures

I do not know how to put up pictures so if someone (Sonya or Tif lol) could kindly let me know I can post my quiet book pictures for you to see

Merry Christmas to all

Yesterday, (notice I always start that way because I never get a chance to write anything in the evening) I realized that Christmas is just around the corner. I thought I had a lot of time but I don't.

As for my "making of gifts", well, I did start early enough but the procrastinator in me knew I had plenty of time and here I am, only a couple weeks before Christmas and so much to do.

I can happily say I have finished my first quiet book and the second one is well on its way. I needed to get the first one done on the ASAP because I need to send way up north in Sask (don't think I will even attempt to spell the whole province) and I ALWAYS wait until too late to send our gifts to our niece and nephew up there and end up paying extra to get it there express on the bus. This year I decided to get it all done early and send it by mail, probably way cheaper. But now, it is Dec 9 and I am sure I'm running out of time to send it by mail and will end up with the costly bus again. So much for saving money on Christmas gifts this year by making my own.

On top of that, I realize that we are having our Christmas gathering next Saturday with Jason's family and that is where the second quiet book is going, so the more I think, the less time I have to get this stuff done. I decided to skip the treadmill this morning get the show rolling.

I also started my gift for my parents from the kids. Its just a painters canvas. I put their handprints on (messy job!!) and then will write a little something on there. It was instead of the stepping stone I made for my mother-in-law. My mom isn't much for gardening or outdoors type stuff so a stepping stone seemed silly. Hopefully this turns out as well though. I opted to just get those handprints on there and save the rest for when I was alone. Hmm, now would be a good time.

I have also started making calendars for both grandparents. What grandparent doesn't want to look at pics of their grandparents all year round? I have my parents completed but not my in-laws, plus then I want to take it to staples to get the little ring things put on top. Another things I really should get on since I don't know if they do that in a day or a week or what!

The next project is my nieces snuggie. I do have until the actual Christmas time to complete this one and I really don't think it'll take long, I have the blanket, just have start cutting and sewing. But thanks to my sister, I have another niece to get something for (notice how I try to sound mad but really can't be because that little girl is so darn cute!!). I had wanted to try making her a sew-free blanket, so that means another intimidating trip to the fabric store where they know I don't belong by looking at me, not to mention how I mispronounce EVERY word I try to say.

I am also needing to buy some jars. I received a cookie-in-a-jar from Ashton daycare a couple years ago, (just made the cookies last week though) and I thought that might be a good idea for my nieces as well. It won't take long, again, just gotta get the jars!

What else, oh yes, then there is the trip to the liquor store to purchase a bottle or 2 for a friend. We don't really know what to buy him, he buys what he needs so this is our out :) A trip to Walmart for the stocking stuffers/Christmas candy. A gift for Jason, which is always impossible but this year it'll be worse because we really don't have money so I will only be buying something very small, looking at something practical for him, like a travel mug or something. I know that sounds dumb, but he does want a nice one to take coffee to school/work in.

I still have to buy a few more things for Brayden, that has been a challenge. Normally I'd buy him just any old baby type item but when you don't have a bunch of extra money, you just don't want to waste it on things you don't need. What does an 8 month old need anyway? Especially when he's not only the second child, but the second boy, he has all he'll ever need in the form of hand me downs!

Then there the wrapping . . .

Did I mention on top of all this wonderful stuff I still need to prepare, I must keep the house clean, entertain 2 kids when it's too cold to go outside and put meals on the table everyday? Oh and add the NO SLEEP factor in there.

It's funny, this may sound like complaining, but really it's not. I LOVE Christmas, its my favorite time of year. I love shopping, baking (eating the baking is likely more my style) visiting family and friends, the music, the decorations, the whole package!!

Tonight I am attending "the singing Christmas tree" put on at my friends church. I went a few years ago but it's never worked for me to go again. I can't wait. Best part, I'll be kid free. I can't wait.

I'd rather be drunk

As you say Tif, you don't think your life is interesting, at least you can make it sound interesting. This is part of why I was hesitant about starting a blog.

Yesterday I went to Ptg to meet my new niece. I was very excited but nervous at the same time. Jason had school during the day and hockey at night so it was just me and the boys. That is where the nervous comes in.

We made a stop in Austin to pick up my mom then heading to Ptg, some MacDonald's and off to the hospital. Ashton was very excited to meet his new cousin, but a hospital with a shared room is not the place for a busy 3 year old! We visited in Nikki's room for a little while but soon had to leave because there was barely enough room to stand on either side of the bed since the rooms in that hospital are smaller than the ones in Brandon and at least in Brandon you get your own room! You know the lady in the next bed just had a baby too so she is obviously tired as well and to try to keep Ashton quiet when he's not oogling the baby, not possible. On top of that, Brayden was in one of his moods where it was only ok for mom to hold him so he would scream when he went to Grandma, another thing you really don't want happening in a room with 2 women who just had babies.

We decided to head back to Nikki's house to put the boys down for a rest, maybe Grandma too since she just got off work that morning and although she was in bed for an hour and a half, I doubt she slept.

Back at the house, I give Brayden his bottle and put him down in the playpen for nap. He screamed for a bit then fell asleep. Ashton would not have a nap because there were just too many different toys to play with so I just tried to keep him occupied so Brayden would at least be happier when he woke up.

Time passed, not much time, only a half hour and Brayden started screaming. He was done napping. Why? He pooped. He seems to be very prone to constipation and this was one of the worst weeks since starting solids. He was very upset the previous night because he tried and tried to go but no results. He woke up early this morning and success! Once he starts, he can't stop so I was ready to go through a lot of diapers that day. I was very happy he was going but I just wish it hadn't woke him up from his nap.

So now I have 2 tired boys, one tired grandma and mom. We figured we'd head back to the hospital to visit a bit more before heading home. This time Paige was there so that caused even more excitement with Ashton. He runs over and starts tickling Paige who was sitting on Nikki's bed, not a good plan for someone who just had a c-section. I figured this wasn't going to work well so we went down to the TV room, myself and the kids, so they could play a bit and not disturb everyone hoping they'd get some of this out of their systems. In the meantime, my arms are shaking and cramping from carrying my other monster child around.

With Glenn's help we managed to get a few pictures with the kids and then we figured we'd better head home. I was kind of wishing that I'd left the boys with their other grandma for the day but I know how much Ashton loves babies and would have been very upset with me so I plugged away.

Another stop over at Grandmas and Paige and Ashton ran around for awhile to burn off some energy. When we got home, I had 2 extremely tired boys. Ashton was being uncooperative, as per usual when he's overtired. He phoned his other grandma to tell her the babies name, to which she replied "are you sure". She had never heard the name before. Then she told Ashton she had made cookies today for him and he burst into tears because he wanted them. We were supposed to stop there on the way home but we ran out of time as Jason needed the car to get to hockey.

I told Ashton because of his distress, we needed to go to bed, he wanted a snack, not because he was hungry but because its habit, he always needs a snack before bed. I was trying to think of something really quick so he could pop it in his mouth and be off to bed. I lucked out, he hadn't had his advent chocolate yet so that became his snack and it was off to bed.

Did I mention, this entire time, I'm carrying the other 20lb child around so he doesn't get all worked up before I put him down to bed? Yah, my arm is still sore today!

Finally I get Ashton into bed, he insists he's not tired. I leave the room, nurse Brayden for 10 minutes, put him down and check on Ashton. Out cold! Hmm, was mom right again? Maybe he was tired.

By this point I am so exhausted all I wanted to do was go to bed, but I still had to unpack everything from our trip today and tidy up the house. I'm not sure what Jason did this evening but it was the same as I left it the night before, but with all the added dishes from his supper. We don't have a lot of counter space and so a few dishes make it look so messy and I get anxiety when I see it. I almost washed the dishes, but opted to catch up on my final episode on Battle of the Blades before heading to bed.

It was over around 10. I looked over at the computer thinking I really should post something about my new niece or I might be getting in trouble, so I figure I'll quickly update my status and within a minute I had like 4 comments, so by the time I check those and respond, it's 10:30. Way past bedtime.

I head to bed, just hoping that I would fall asleep and not be woken up when Jason gets home from hockey at midnight. No such luck, and the boys had other plans too. Rough night.

They say being overtired is like being drunk, but it doesn't seem as fun to me.