what's on my mind, are you sure you want to know?

I have too much on the go right now. Just thought I'd share with you.

#1 - Finding a new home for my dog - this was not an easy decision but as you know, he is not good with the kids and I am not willing to put in the time it would require to retrain him and even if I did, there is no guarentee that I would work.

I have put an ad on ebrandon, our local website, and I have actually gotten a lot of response. All I wrote was I have to give him up because he is not good with children. Some of the people are probably just seeing a picture of a cute dog and thinking, "oh that would be so much fun". I am being completely honest with people, I will not say he is a good dog. I do believe he just needs a new environment, one that is a little bit more calm. Ashton is far to hyper and Brayden will be there soon too. My stomach was in knots last weekend at the thought of him meeting a possible new family. I had one lady that I spoke with on the phone last Saturday, she had planned to come on Sunday to meet him. She never called and hasn't responded to my emails since then. Then one other lady, I emailed back and forth with her for a day and then Monday she was going to call me to set up a time. She sounded really interested. I called there after supper Monday to leave my cell number with her husband because we were going out. I didn't recieve a call when we were out and there was no message on the home phone when we got back. I checked my email and apparently her husband was not on board with getting another dog. She really didn't think he'd have a problem with it. So that didn't work out.

Too bad. That's the only serious interest I've had. I really want to find him a new home before the end of the month but at the same time, I don't want to give him to just anyone. If he goes to a new home and they decide they don't like his temperament, you never know where he'll end up because they won't have the same attachment to him as we do.

#2 - finding a job - things aren't looking promising. I am due back to work in 2 weeks and I have sent out 10 resumes. I have only heard back from 2 of those jobs so there is still a possibility but the reality of going back to Herbal Magic is slowly coming to be.

I am trying to convince myself that it won't be so bad. The biggest reason is financially. I will be making less/hr than I am now (if I only worked 8 hours/day right now lol) and I will be adding $1000/month in daycare costs. I'm not a math whiz but that does not equal having enough money to pay bills. I was going to try to get more money out of them, like asking about being assistant manager or something (since I stepped down from the manager position before I left, I am not entitled to that back) but I don't think I'd have a case because they know I don't want to be there. That is partly what I dread, them knowing I'm only there because I have to be. I can see them treating me even worse than they did before. That's just how my supervisor rolls. She is not a nice person.

I am still very hopeful that something good comes up in the next couple weeks. I am going to go and chat with the current manager next week to try to work out something on my behalf.

#3 - soccer - part of my reason for wanting a stictly day job is because of soccer. I know, I should have other priorities but soccer is a huge priority to me. It's the one thing I have left that is all mine, not my kids, not my husband, just me. I know I won't be able to play it forever so I need to play it while I can. Plus, that amount of exercise is crutial in keeping my weight off in the summer (or in this case, maybe getting an extra 5 lbs off me)

We are starting a new team this year so that makes things a bit more complicated. In order to decide on the number of players to allow on our team, we need to know the commitment level of each player. I do not know mine due to the work situation. I am also in charge of the money for the team so I have to start hunting down money so I can pay for things when they come due. I don't know half the people on my team so that makes it even harder.

Ashton is also playing soccer this year. He will play on Monday and Wednesday nights and I will play on Tuesday and Thursday nights. At first I was excited about that but then I realized if I'm back to HM, I will have to work til 7:30 a couple days/week and so I will have to choose between missing his games or my games. Again, good reason to have a day job. I will have to work something out with Jason, hopefully I can take him one night and Jason can take him another night and I won't have to miss too many of my games.

Did I mention I love soccer?

#4 - spring cleaning - I really wanted to get something done in this house while I was off. I have not accomplished much. I did manage to take a good number of boxes to Value Village yesterday. That was good, but I'm no where near done organizing. I'm also going to be losing 8 hours/day to do that when I get back to work.

I would also like to do some painting. We have been here for 2 years this July and we have only redone Ashton's room. That's it. I don't mind painting, and it's not really that expensive either, I just don't know what colors to do. I am not crafty like that. I went to an Uppercase Living party the other day. I ordered 2 slogans to put on my walls. One is for Ashton's room. I had to order it, it was so him. It says "Boy, n: a noise with dirt on it" I couldn't resisit. I also ordered one for the livingroom. I didn't know what color to get it in because our walls all over the house are cream colored. I decided I'd paint my one wall red (or some form of it) as I have black curtains and I like black, red and white together. I ordered the saying in black and white so now I have to paint that wall or I won't be able to put it up. I also bought a new shower curtain a short time ago. It has black, blue and cream colored spots on it, so I am thinking of painting some of the walls in the bathroom blue. I just have to get at it. I think I will do that next week when I take the boys for their day at daycare.

#5 - Brayden's birthday - it's coming up quick and I am trying to have a birthday party for him. A big one like I had for Ashton's first with some extended family from both sides. I am having a heck of a time finding a weekend that my mom is off and Jason's mom is off too. Plus Jason's sister doesn't want to come out the weekend after Easter because it's too much. I say poo on her. lol

I found out a couple days ago that Jason's step brother, his wife and their 3 kids will actually be out the weekend of May 7th for their son's hockey tourney (they live in Saskatoon) so I might try that weekend cause that would be great if they could be here too. My mom is off that weekend and Jason's mom was already going to try to get it off for them to come. That would work great. Except when we come back to this work thing. What if they won't give me that weekend off? Oh I hope they do, that would be one less thing to worry about.

#6 - weight loss - that has been weighing on my mind a lot. I am happier than I was, that is for sure, but I know if I could just buckle down and do it, I could lose 5 more lbs. I do want to do it before I go back to work but I'm just not putting in any effort at all. I am still exercising 4 - 6 days/week but I am not cutting out enough bad stuff. I shouldn't let it bother me, but I think I'm using the excuse of all the other stuff I have going on as reasons not to worry about it right now. I should just suck it up.

Some of the other things are a bit more minor. We have not gotten our taxes done, we are running out of time!! I am hoping that there will be a big lump of money that we'll get back, that would really help us out right now, but with my luck and the way things have been going, we'll owe money or something like that. Maternity leave is great but they really don't take off a lot of taxes, so I really don't know.

We'd also like to go to Minot for May long weekend so I need to get passports for us, they take 2 weeks so again, running out of time. That brings us back to the work thing too, will they give me that weekend off? Oh if only I didn't have to work. Maybe winning the lottery would be the way to go. Any tips on that? I guess buying a ticket would be the first step.

I wonder how I am going to do it when I go back to work. Even the things that I have got figured out, like making supper everyday, getting dishes done, doing laundry and things like that. How do all you super moms do it? I guess I will have to figure it out, too bad there isn't a manual or something.